Enmity is an evil seed which when planted, sprouts fourth and grows at the speed of light not demanding to know how well you nurtured it. It is capable of erasing a whole nation within a twinkle of an eye. The first step to finding the solution to every problem is to first discover the root of the problem as that will now lead to the cause of the problem which will enable one to solve such a problem by uprooting it out. A careful look within ourselves, relationships, families and society will quickly aid us understand that main causes of most enmity or quarrel is not far-fetched from the list below:

~ Alcohol abuse

~ Joblessness/ lack of money issues

~ Lack of submissiveness among some women though it can be termed pride which can be seen in both parties.

~ Differences in ideology.

~ Greed.

~ Jealousy.

~ Excessive use of offensive language.

~ Giving preferential treatment to some persons and neglecting the other as mostly seen amongst some parents.

~ Idle gossip or constant bitching.

~ Uncontrollable anger.



  1. Proverbs 20 verse 1 “wine is a mocker and beer a brawler, whoever is led astray by them is not wise”. Most drink advertisement will always have the inscription of “drink responsibly”. Do not drink to lose control over your real self, do not drink and drive, when under the influence of alcohol some pathetic acts (crimes) have been committed/recorded. So it will be wise to stay clear of alcohol abuse in other not to do things that one might later on regret.
  2. It is normally said that the love of money is the root of all evil without telling us want the absence of the said money is capable of doing. What’s the point loving when you can’t provide the basic needs of your loved ones? Most cases of domestic violence has been attributed to anger and frustration which is linked to not being able to provide family’s basic need. Get something doing no matter how little is can be so as to be able to fend for the family you claim to love so much, avoid building large family when you can barely take good care of one. Absence of money can really bring about enmity in a family so get a job and provide money when necessary.
  3. This guy pride can actually cause a lot of problem as it has never been recorded to contribute positively in any way. Women should learn not to rub shoulder with their husband in their various homes as two captains can never man a ship. We should all learn to put pride in check and cut it off entirely, you can read more about pride here and how to control it.
  4. Differences in ideology, ask a mother and she will tell you that none of her kids behave exactly the same way, so it is normal thing for humans to have different ideology but there is need not to impose our own ideas on people because people see and view things from different perspectives based on their level of education, exposure, understanding, temperaments, religion and whole lots of factors. When you come in contact with someone with a different ideology always try to strike a balance for a win/win rather than imposing or making the other person fell less human. The image below said it all.
  5. Greed is another evil seed that grows enmity, kindly kill it in you, understand that the nutrient you will get from a plate of rice is the same nutrient that you will get from two plates of rice because your body system will only pick the little amount needed and every other excess becomes waste. If everyone exit the earth for you alone to stay it will be a horrible place of aboard, we all need the existence of another so don’t keep it all for yourself at the expense of another’s pain. Live and let live.
  6. Jealousy, why get jealousy over the success story of your friend when you can work hard and also have your own success story? Avoid jealousy rather seek for advice and improve on yourself as no one is born with two heads neither is anyone born a genius.
  7. Avoid excessive use of offensive languages, some people’s mouth can be so dirty when it comes to the words coming out from their mouths. In our tongue lies the power of life and death so do not use it to bring death upon yourself or people around you. Some people might not pick offense at some words while others can, based on differences in temperaments and cultural background, so bite your words before you speak it.
  8. Avoid discussing your friend’s secret with another, what someone shared with you in confidence should not be heard elsewhere, so avoid bitching your loved ones over a little misunderstanding. Do not bad mouth your friend to make yourself feel important because such thing doesn’t last if at all it works
  9. Anger is another weapon of mass destruction which ought to be managed and controlled well to avoid disaster. It is natural to get angry but it can become very dangerous when the anger control you especially when it is accumulated anger, so do not pile up grievances or grudges for people. When your feeling is hurt let the person who cause you the pain know and sort it out amicably to avoid accumulation of anger. Do not transfer aggression to an innocent fellow.


There is really much more things we can do to avoid enmity, just watch out and identify what works well for you. Prevention has always been known to be the best remedy but to err is human and to forgive is divine so saying sorry when you find yourself on the wrong side should never be a problem, kindly share your opinion about this article with us on the comment section.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *