Insecurity means not confident about yourself or your ability to do things very well, it can also mean not locked or not well protected. Confidence is a feeling filled with positive vibes and energy and with the presence of this feeling, your limit goes beyond the sky but the absence of confidence tells the opposite. When the door is not well protected, the house is prone to threat, so when there is no security in a relationship, the relationship is also prone to threat. Anything that threatens a relationship can bring about the feeling of insecurity

There are traits that when someone exhibits we can easily say the person is feeling insecure in his/her relationship and they include but not limited to
~ Constant checking of partners phones
~ Not wanting partner to have independent decision
~ Not wanting to do anything all by yourself without your partner.
~ When trust is absent.
~ When confrontation is always at avoidance
~ When you’re always inquiring of their partners ex
~ When there’s excessive need for constant reassurance of the solidity of the relationship
~ When you find yourself always accusing your partner of cheating even when there’s no obvious reason to do so.

Like I said earlier any threat to a relationship is a source of insecurity. The best solution to a problem has always been to discover the cause of the problem, when you know the cause of the problem is then you can now talk of prevention and cure.


Poor or lack of communication: communication is life, and absence of life brings about death. Don’t be too shy to open up your mind to your partner, always talk things over no matter how difficult it might be. Just make sure you always talk to and with your partner. Don’t keep things to yourself.

Assumption: this is the shortest route to disaster, never turn yourself to astrologer or psychologist and start reading your partners mind. Don’t assume things ask and know what they actually mean. Silence is a non-verbal communication, which actually means whole lots of things so don’t misinterpret it to suit your inferiority complex.

Low self-esteem: This can make one not know his/her value, this will make one feel like the fellow is not worthy enough for their partner and also feel as if you’re privileged for you to have such person in your life; says who please? Build yourself by understanding that every human has something valuable to offer, discover your potentials and harness it. Find a hobby and engage in activities that will boost your confidence.

Being too clingy: keep your independence and have your own sense of reasoning because if you are too clingy when your partner is not available to make decisions for you, you start feeling threatened.

Lack of self-trust: how do you expect another to trust you when you trust not even yourself and when you don’t trust your own self it will be very difficult to trust another? When you make yourself a promise always try to fulfil it build your self-trust and learn to trust your spouse in as much as you make yourself trustworthy.

Neatness: marriage exposes little bad habits that dating can’t expose, a lady confessed how she was able to gain back her husband’s love right after she started applying roll-on (deodorant) on her underarm, so this this implies that her under arm odor has been repelling the man from her. So in a relationship as a man take good care of yourself and your environment likewise the woman. Neatness they say is next to godliness.

Be more polite, caring and affectionate: nagging your partner will make them keep a distance from you which pose a threat. So when things are wrongly done correct with love and talk it over where necessary, show your partner that you care, don’t assume they know, show it. Never embark on a sex-strike because of minor argument (married couples).

Gratitude: learn to appreciate your partner, be proud of them, give them good sense of belonging, and help them understand that they meet up to what you desire in a partner. Be grateful for having them and avoid comparing them with your ex or with what you come across on the social media.

Invest in your Relationship: Relationship is like a seed when you sow it, water it and nature it to grow. When you refuse to invest in your relationship how do you expect it to grow? Read books on relationship and learn how to make it work, don’t expect it to be always rosy but always be sincere, and make yourself understandable in as much as you try to understand well before concluding.

Relationship is very sweet in all speres when there is proper understanding. Have you ever felt insecure in your relationship, how did you overcome it? Please share your experience with us on the comment section for us to learn.

“What ruins relationship and causes most fight is insecurity”….. Olivia Wilde.

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