Where Have I gone Wrong?

My name is Kaibiri, I am a very beautiful girl that every matured young man will like to have as a wife. I had many suitors,  many of them were actually what I desired in a man but I couldn’t give in to them because they’re not of the same denomination with me. My parents wouldn’t like me to enter another family with entirely different religious background and I really don’t also want that for myself. 

I just kept hoping to meet someone who will share same religious background as me, to settle down with because I really desired to have my own home, so that I could start early to build my home to the taste God wants it. As if God heard my prayers, I met this guy on one of the social media platforms, by name Nkemakolam.

Nkem was everything I ever wanted in a man, enlightened, professional in his field, we are of the same denomination. Nkem calls me almost every minute of the day, do discuss love things(sure you know what I mean).
I became so fond of him that I practically get fever anytime he delays in calling. It wasn’t long before Nkem started showering me with gifts, I lacked nothing within my first month of Knowing Nkem.  Our discussion got so personal that I mistakenly disclosed to Nkem about my virginity Status, he acted complacence about it to my advantage. 

In no distant time Nkem started talking about marriage, I haven’t seen him one on one but from the pictures he sent across to me, he looked so handsome.  I really loved what I saw on the pictures and keenly hope it turn out same in reality.  The marriage talk became so serious that my parents got involved,  he visited my parents to make his intention known to them, that was the first time of me having face to face encounter with him. He looked more handsome than what I saw on the pictures. 

Fast forward,  we got more acquainted that I visited his home, he made me believe he stayed alone, not with his family(not like I have something against him staying with his family though), he told me that his family stays in their family house. Nkem really behaved himself the day I visited him and acted more maturely though I expected nothing less.

Nkem single handedly sponsored our wedding taking most burden of little expenses off my parent’s shoulder. I am from the middle class family,  My mother is a University Lecturer while my father is a successful herbal Native doctor.

I moved in with my husband after our wedding, Nkem instantly transfigured immediately after our wedding. As a woman in her honeymoon (with her bed un-defiled), I wasn’t given any special treatment at all, I do all the house chores,  cook for everybody in the house. I still wash the dishes my husband’s younger ones used in eating the food I cooked.
Infact I was practically a housemaid in my husband’s house during my honeymoon,  I endued thinking his family will soon go back to their own family house as he made me believe earlier. Forwhere? That happened in wonderland, the married sisters were even coming back from their so-called husband’s house with their own kids adding to the number of house chores I already have. Jesus Christ!  Did I really come here to build a family or to serve as a dehumanised housemaid (I said so because,  if it where just the housemaid job alone, the case would have been lighter but I also service him (my husband) in bed.  

I summoned courage to ask Nkem while the domestic work is for me alone both works that are supposed to be done by his younger siblings are left for me alone, all he told me was……who do I expect to do those works before or do I expect him to do them?

All this things are going on, I couldn’t complain because I didn’t want to be seen as lazy a wife, I carried the cross alone hoping that things will eventually become better not minding it got worst by the day. Within my third month of marriage I conceived,  I was very happy though my husband didn’t see anything special about it.

On a faithful Sunday like that after Sunday service, I came home with my husband and everybody was at home relaxed watching television,  all yawning like castrated idiots.  I choose to act complacent aswell since is the trending thing though I was very tired with my new pregnancy.  The funny thing was that every item needed for the food preparation was at home, gas well refilled,  nothing is lacking,  all they’re waiting for is for the housemaid to enter kitchen and cook, while they go dishout and dump plates for her.

The man that called himself my husband turned to me and asked me if he is not going to eat food in this house, I humbly told him that I was very tired and that doctor said, I need enough rest and less stress. My loving husband (Nkemakolam) asked me if am the first woman to get pregnant, with that he ordered me into the kitchen. I obeyed because am a good wife, I actually did the cooking but after the stress, I started bleeding.

The bleeding wasn’t really my problem oh, the problem was that my husband did nothing about it, he didn’t even consider taking me to hospital. I managed to put a call to my mother, my mother now put a call to the man I was in the same room with, instructing him to rush me to the hospital.  My mum came to the hospital to take care of me, I lost the pregnancy but my life was spared, my mother took me to my father’s house after I was discharged. Did you know that my husband didn’t call, nor did his mother or siblings?  After getting so much advice from different people,  I choose to go back to my husband hoping that everything will be alright but the more I hope, the tougher it become. 

As God may have it I conceived again,  I really choose not to talk about what my mother in law will always tell me, how she will always insult me, because her words were ear aching. The home became more of hell on earth for me when my husband discovered I was pregnant. He denied the pregnancy, this hurt beyond measures coming from the only man, I have ever known all my life. He started telling people that I am possessed and that the baby belonged to my spiritual husband.  Infact my mother in-law stopped me from entering the kitchen,  meaning they started denying me food. My mother bought provisions for me when I told her and sent some money across to me. I remember not telling you that I didn’t work because my husband didn’t want me to work and still did not want to take care of me.

When the starvation and the general abuse was so much on me, I packed all my bags and went back to my father’s house.
Ever since then I have been asking myself what I did wrong, Is it wrong to be beautiful?  Is it wrong to be a virgin before marriage?  Is it wrong to be humble?  Is it wrong to endure? Is it now wrong to get pregnant for your husband?  Is it wrong to live in the same house with my husband’s family,  if is wrong should I have thrown them out? Is it wrong to marry? I seriously need someone to tell me where I have wronged Nkemakolam.
Please tell me what I did wrong because am yet to know. 

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